We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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