our cab driver is having phone sex.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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