dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
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