What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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