you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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