i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Everything about him screamed your future.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
