turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I wish there were birth control emojis
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
