Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize