omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
