C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
