I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
