When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
