Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
