one might say we're banned from that church
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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