her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
