Well douche your snatch and let's go!
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
