Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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