Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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