yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
