haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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