Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
