pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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