the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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