Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize