We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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