when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Screwed.edu
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
