I smell stomach acid.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
