lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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