This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
