you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
