You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
