My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
