Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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