just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
