Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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