He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
