I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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