If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
