TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
