Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
