Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
