Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
