I heard we made out
we made out on top of his cat.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
