Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
