I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
