Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
