Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
