I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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