you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
