Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
