why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
