Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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