I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
We're too hungover to prance.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
