she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
