Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
