In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize