I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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