You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
In America we eat man semen.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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