Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
