You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
