Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
