burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Edward fifth and chaser hands
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
