I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
