yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
